Save Our Socializing

02.18.24

By Sol de Ugarte

Even though I’m only a freshman in my second quarter here at Western Washington University, I have already seen countless anonymous pleas for social interaction on Yik Yak and the Instagram account @newestwwuvoice. Despite this, it feels like everyone around me has found their people already. 

Socializing has always been something I have struggled with. Small talk is a confusing mess, and I’m never sure how to continue the conversation. Am I asking too many questions? Am I talking too much? All these worries are rooted in the possibility that I might come across as awkward.

This presents a pretty major problem – it’s nearly impossible to start a friendship without a healthy dose of awkward pauses. In fact, it makes complete sense why this would happen. When you’re meeting new people, you know just as much about them as they do about you. You don’t know their interests, let alone the way they best communicate. There’s no one way to get to know a person because we’re all different. You can’t expect to immediately click with someone as you would with a childhood friend. This anxiety could be affirmed by seeing people get looked down on for experiences or interests you relate to.

If you’ve been on the Internet, you’ve heard the word cringe. It’s so easy to roll your eyes at people doing things you find stupid. As humans, we don’t want to be associated with things that are seen as embarrassing or annoying. Being passionate about fictional media, being confused in social situations, or even having disregard for certain social norms are all things that can be considered cringe. None of these things inherently cause harm to others, so judgment of them is pointless at best. I tend to assume the things people do or share are sincere. If it doesn’t interest me or I don’t understand it, I move on and let them have fun.

During the COVID-19 lockdown, many people were sharing their stories and coming out as bisexual. As with anything on the internet, there were whispers that people weren’t being entirely truthful for clout or shock factor. These individuals were branded as harmful to the LGBTQ+ community for exploring new labels. Being queer is obviously not a costume to try on or an accessory you wear to seem cool. Sure, people may “change their mind” about their sexuality throughout their life, but people are constantly changing in many ways every day. A hallmark of adolescence is trying out identities. Sometimes these identities don’t stick, and that’s perfectly normal. 

I try to have this grace with the things I used to do that I would never do now. The same goes for my judgment of others. We all have our own experiences and with that comes how we choose to interact with the world around us as everyone lives through their own individual existence. With this outlook of open-minded inclusivity, we learn new things from our surroundings that can change and develop our knowledge, ideas, and interests. 

Can something be embarrassing or cringe if it came from a place of joy? I attempt to take this into account when I see people doing things that I might not ever even consider doing. We could all stand to be a little more compassionate.

So, what does all this mean for meeting new people? Remember that being awkward is part of the process. This can ease anxiety when you are worried someone may not like you. This is incredibly challenging, but it's definitely worth it in the long run. Learning about new people and their viewpoints is one of the most interesting things about college. Being open-minded can lead us to new opportunities and broaden our perspectives, which in turn makes it easier to open up to new people. If we let ourselves be a little less scared of being awkward, we could do a whole lot more.